A place to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of my MS diagnosis.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Your circle of influence

There are many things in this world that can take away your power. They may not even be aware that they're doing it. I love the quote, "Take control of your life or someone else will."

If you don't get deliberate about what you want to do or how you're going to act, there are plenty of cues and suggestions that will tell you what to do. We all were raised by somebody, for starters, and we learned a style. It's pretty easy to fall into the routine of parenting the way we were parented, or to talk to wait staff at the restaurant the way your dad did. Micro-managers, politicians are also pretty good at pretending they know what's best for us all to do. If you don't have an intention, they will swoop in and make suggestions for you.

Stephen Covey's 7 habits, particulary his 1st habit be proactive takes on new and more significant meaning for me when I think about having MS. His first habit is best understood by considering your circle of influence and your circle of concern. Habitually, we get these two mixed up. We tie ourselves in a knot worrying about our nation's behaviour in reducing greenhouse gas emissions (Circle of Concern) instead of choosing an alternate transportation method for our commute (Circle of Influence). We complain about how morale at work is low and the boss doesn't get it (Circle of Concern) instead of organizing a lunch-hour pizza party for our coworkers (Circle of Influence).

When it comes to MS, we can get fixated on the cost of medication, the probability we'll stay mobile, the way our employer reacts to our relapses or the way we tend to list to the left when we walk. For the most part, these are concerns out of our hands. We can observe them, even state that we don't like them. If we wake up the next day and announce our dislike for them again, we're getting dangerously close to wasting our energy and disempowering ourselves from doing something useful.

On the other hand, your circle of influence always contains some pretty powerful tools to improve your life. You can always choose your attitude, where you put your energy and how you'll treat your body.

Next time you're frustrated, please take a moment and do a little exercise. Separate your frustration into two piles: the stuff that's not within your control and the stuff that is. Just to be fair, I'll do this exercise, too. Then I'll start working on the stuff that's mine.